Breakeven

2.22.2011. Tarikh yg bersejarah dlm hidup aku. X ku sangka hari ini akn muncul dlm hidup aku yg x sbrapa ni. Pada tarikh ni, aku hang out dgn member2 aku, Syurel, Shira, Ada, Alia n Piqah. First2 tu pegy la parade. Aku bwk keta sorg2 je pgy parade. X berteman pun. Plan diorg nk tgk wyg kt parade, tp tau tau je la kn, kt parade tu wayang dy kureng skit. So last2 g jj gak. Tgk citer The Mechanic.

Lpas hbs wayang, aku singgah gift shop or "kedai comel". Hehe. Aku nk bli something cute for my gf's lil sister. Its for her birthday present. Birthday adik dy pun dh lama dh lpas. So agak belated . Aku pn nowadays bz gak , memikirkn masalah dlm hidup aku ni. Then, aku suruh kwn2 aku blk rmh dlu. Sbb aku ada "hal" skit nk settle. Aku nk bg brg tu dkt kazen gf aku, so later boleh la dy bg kt adik gf aku. Huhu. Dh lpas bg tu, aku singgah jap dkt2 area rmh gf aku. Saje nk pass by. X masuk pun just lalu je dpn rmh dy. Aku dgn dy pun dh dingin sgt. X mcm dlu. Dlu dlu kemain lg sweet, kemain lg manja, kemain lg u syg i, i syg u. tp skrg ni smua tu bakal jd kenangan yg tidak akan dilupai buat slama2 nya.

Time lalu dpn rmh gf aku, aku sedih sgt. Aku siap berhenti kt dpn rmh gf aku. Aku pn terkenang la muka dy. Aku pun terkenang la kenangan manis aku dgn dy. Aku imagine dy snyum, imagine dy gelak, imagine dy
ckp "i love you" dkt aku... Hmm. Tp ap kn daya. Manusia sering berubah . Sometimes bila diorg berubah, diorg bg pelbagai alasan. tp aku sbgai lelaki, kena la mengalah n cuba sdaya upaya utk memahami isi hati perempuan. So, dgn linangan air mata membasahi pipi aku pun belah.Ap la laki nangis2. Haizz.


Lpas detik2 yg agak menyedihkn tu, aku smbung lpak dgn syurel, shira n ada. Kitaorg cdg nk piknik mlm2 kt pdg polo. Piknik mkn domino tuhh. Haha. Best kot. Mkn pizza yg sdap kt tgh2 padang tu. Mmg terbaik r.
Hmm. The night sky was truly beautiful, even beautiful than u can ever describe with words. Aku pun mintak la nasihat dgn kwn2 aku, cmne aku nk settle kn masalah aku yg dh melarat2 ni.

After dh lpak smua, ak hantar kwn2 aku blk. N aku pun dh xtahan dgn masalah ni. So its time to act. Aku cpt2 supersaver n call gf aku, to settle this once n for all. At first, aku just smbang2 biasa2 je. Xde pun nk masuk ap yg aku nk ckp kt dy. Dh lpas talk talk bnda2 yg biasa, aku first ayat la dy. Biasa la ayat2 magic. Tp mcm x load plak. Dh lpas aku lafaz magic word pun, dy siap tanya, knal x anwar hadi? ofcos la aku tau. spe x knal mamat tu . mamat tu kn femes kt internet ni. Hehe.

Hmm, n then dy ckp, kt blog anwar hadi tu, ad la ckp psal cpl2, so dy agak terasa la. Hmm cm kna brainwashed je dy tu. Tp xpe la, mayb ap yg dy baca tu, ad jugak realiti dy. Ada jugak kebenaran dy. Aku pn xleh nk ckp ap ler. Dy pn ckp, "kita muda lagi, so xpyh la nk pening2 pkir pasal relationship ni. Lgpun I malas nk ad commitment ni. " Bila aku dgr dy ckp cmtu, hati aku cm dh koyak je. Hmm. Tp dy ad ckp , "U, eventho nant kita breakup, can we be friends? I mean special friends? Close friends? Plg penting, i tau u suke kt i, u tau i suke kt u..." Aku pn ckp OK. Hehe. So kiranya after that, we're officially breaking up. No fighting no swearing whatsoever. So I guess we're breakeven. Thats a very good sign tho. Igtkn break up gado2 carut2 smua tu wajib, tp tak pun. Kna pandai2 la control emotion, kna pndai control perasaan tu walaupun sedih. Hmm. So no tears for the breakup. Glad. Lpas breakup tu, aku punya SS still  ad lagi. So aku smbang je la dgn dy, tp kali ni perasaan awkward tu dh xde. Cm beban kt bahu ni dh xde. Lega sgt. Xde la aku nk pkir psal prasaan sdih aku ni dh. And satu lagi, aku x kehilangan dy totally. Still kwn maa.

Although kitaorg dh breakup, aku still syg kt dy sbgai kwn n sbgai ex bf dy. Aku try to take things cool n steady. We're still contact each other n thats good enough for me.

P/S : My ex gf, you had filled my past life with wonderful colours, colours that were more colourful than rainbows. Our sweet memories, I shall cherish them for the rest of my life. Even if you're not destined to be forever with me, I'm okay with it. I know we're still young to think bout those stuff. All those old texts, old pic of you, i still have them in my handphone. I still save your first text with me. Hehe. You're sweet back then, now you've grown up, so your taste is unique now. Bkn sweet je. Tp smua rasa ad kt you. I hope that we will be good good friends or special friends that you intended us to be. Ok then, i wish u luck for your life.


22.02.2011. A day to remember.